didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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