paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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