My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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