Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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