Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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