How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize