i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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