are you still at the devil's house?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
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Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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