okay pat passed out under dana's car
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize