i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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