in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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