I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize