She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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