One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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