Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
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We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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