Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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