Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize