best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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