somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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