I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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