I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the day after is always just damage control
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize