Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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