The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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