I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize