I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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