I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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