The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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