Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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