It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize