I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Life is so much better after having sex.
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Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize