Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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