hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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