Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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