Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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