garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize