I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize