i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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