Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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