You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize