Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize