It's like a parade of train wrecks.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize