I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize