And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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