Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize