His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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