God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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