i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize