My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize