no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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