5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
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Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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